Trauma and Grief Support in Nanaimo

Trauma, grief, and loss are often deeply intertwined. While grief is a natural response to losing someone or something meaningful, trauma can disrupt the grieving process—especially when a loss is sudden, violent, prolonged, or occurs in the context of chronic stress or instability. In these situations, the nervous system may remain in a state of survival, making it difficult to feel safe, connected, or at ease, even years later.

Loss is not limited to death. It can include the loss of safety, identity, relationships, health, community, or a sense of the future you expected. When these losses overwhelm your capacity to cope, they may be experienced not only emotionally, but physically and neurologically.

Trauma can interrupt the natural rhythm of grief. Instead of moving through waves of sadness, longing, and meaning-making, the body may remain stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or shutdown. This can look like:

• persistent anxiety or hypervigilance 
• emotional numbness or disconnection 
• intrusive memories or images 
• difficulty trusting, resting, or feeling present 
• a sense of being “stuck” or unable to move forward
   

Many people feel confused or frustrated by these responses, especially when they believe they should be coping better. In reality, these are not signs of weakness—they are signs of a nervous system that adapted to survive overwhelming loss.

Trauma, grief, and loss are not held only in thoughts or memories. They are carried in the body and nervous system. Even when you logically understand what happened, your body may still react as though the threat or loss is ongoing.

This is why talking alone is sometimes not enough. Healing often requires approaches that support both emotional processing and nervous-system regulation—helping the body learn that the loss is no longer happening in the present moment.

At Soma House Counselling & Wellness in Nanaimo, trauma, grief, and loss are approached as whole-person experiences. Farnaz Farrokhi-Holmes, M.A., RCC, CCC, brings both professional training and lived experience to this work. Having grown up in a war-torn country, she understands how chronic fear, instability, and loss shape the nervous system and one’s sense of safety over time.

Therapy is collaborative, paced, and grounded in safety—recognizing that healing unfolds differently for each person.

Healing at the intersection of trauma, grief, and loss may involve a combination of trauma-informed approaches, depending on your needs and readiness.

• Somatic therapy to help you reconnect with your body and build awareness of nervous-system responses 
• Gentle practices that support grounding, breath, and a sense of safety
   

• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) as one evidence-based tool to help the brain reprocess distressing or “stuck” memories 
• EMDR can help reduce emotional intensity and allow experiences of loss or trauma to be integrated in a less overwhelming way
   

• Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)–informed skills for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and grounding 
• Practical tools to support you during waves of grief or activation
   

• Inner Child and parts-based work to explore how early losses or trauma shaped protective patterns 
• Support for building internal safety, self-compassion, and trust
   

• Solution-Focused Therapy (SFT) to highlight strengths, values, and moments of resilience 
• Gentle movement toward meaningful goals, even while grief and healing are still present

Healing trauma, grief, and loss is not about forgetting what happened or “getting over it.” It is about integrating these experiences so they no longer dominate your nervous system or daily life. With the right support, it is possible to carry loss with more steadiness, reconnect with yourself and others, and move forward with compassion and resilience.

If you are navigating grief that feels complicated, overwhelming, or intertwined with trauma, support is available—and you don’t have to do this alone.